What to do if a child does not want to go to music school, or, How to overcome the crisis of learning in a music school?

Why doesn’t a child want to go to music school? Rarely do any parents manage to avoid such problems. The young talent, who at first so trustingly devoted himself to music, turns into a stubborn person who finds any reason to skip class, or, oh, horror, to stop completely.

The following algorithm of actions will help solve the problem:

I. Listen to the child

It is important to maintain a trusting relationship. A calm conversation in a friendly atmosphere (and not at the extreme moment when your child is hysterical or crying) will allow you to better understand each other. Remember that in front of you is an individual, with his own characteristics and preferences, and they must also be taken into account. Sometimes it is just important for a little person to know that he will be heard and sympathized with.

II. Consult with your teacher

Only after a personal conversation with the culprit of the conflict, talk to the teacher. The main thing is in private. Identify the problem, an experienced teacher will share his vision of the situation and offer solutions. Over the years of training, teachers manage to find out many reasons why a child does not want to go to music school.

Unfortunately, sometimes a child drops out of school due to the fault of the same teachers, who, sensing the disinterest and indifference of their parents, simply begin to slack off in class. Hence the rule: come to school more often, communicate more often with teachers in all subjects (there are not many of them, only two main ones – specialty and solfeggio), congratulate them on the holidays, and at the same time ask about things in class.

III. Find a compromise

There are situations when the word of parents must be indisputable. But in most cases, when making a final decision, it is important to maintain a line between the interests of the injured party and parental authority. A student is required to have excellent grades in a regular school and in a music school, and besides this, there are also clubs? Reduce the load – don’t demand the impossible.

It should be remembered that there are no ready-made recipes; all situations are individual. If the problem still remains, most likely the cause is deeper. The origins may be in relationships with loved ones, a teenage crisis or bad inclinations, which also take place.

What is the reason anyway???

Family relationships?

It is sometimes difficult for parents to admit that, wanting to raise a little genius from their child, they pay little attention to his interests and even abilities. If the authority of elders is high, it may be possible to temporarily convince the child that a piano is better than a soccer ball.

There are sad examples when young people managed to hate this activity so much that the diploma they had already received remained lying on the shelf, and the instrument was covered with dust.

Negative character traits…

We are talking primarily about laziness and the inability to complete the work started. And if parents observe such a tendency, then this is precisely the case when they should be firm. Hard work and responsibility are traits that allow you to achieve success not only in music, but also in life.

How to overcome laziness at home? Each family has its own methods. I remember a book by a famous pianist, in which he talks about his son, who suffered from pathological laziness and flatly refused to practice the instrument.

The father, not in an effort to suppress the child’s will, not in an effort to mold him into a pianist at any cost, but in simple concern for his child’s skills, came up with a way out. He simply entered into an agreement with him and began to pay for the hours (the amounts are small, but for a child they are significant) spent playing the instrument at home.

As a result of this motivation (and it may be different – not necessarily monetary), a year later the son won a major international competition, and after it several other music competitions. And now this boy, who once refused music completely, has become a famous professor and concert (!) pianist with world renown.

Maybe age-related features?

In the period after 12 years, the absence of a crisis is rather a deviation from the norm. A teenager expands his space, tests relationships, and demands greater independence. On the one hand, without realizing it, he wants to prove to you that he has the right to make his own decisions, and on the other hand, he simply needs support and mutual understanding.

The conversation should be conducted in a friendly manner. Together, look at photographs of the first reporting concerts, remember joyful moments, good luck, dreams… Having awakened these memories, let the teenager feel that you still believe in him. The right words will help inspire a stubborn person. Make a concession where possible, but be firm in the fact that the work started must be completed.

Wrong mode: if the child is simply tired…

The cause of quarrels may be fatigue. A proper daily routine, moderate physical activity, early bedtime – all this teaches organization, allowing you to save energy and time. Responsibility for creating and maintaining routines primarily lies with adults.

And yet, what secret should parents know so as not to look for an answer to the painful question of why their son or daughter doesn’t want to go to music school? The main thing is to teach your child to receive true joy from his work! And the support and love of loved ones will help overcome any crisis.